Want to know why your partner, friend or child hears you say something you never said or intended, especially when under pressure or stress? Or you are feeling very vulnerable, hurting and in need of a hug and she/he is providing a great dissertation of logic as to how to solve your “problem”? Or perhaps your partner just doesn’t understand that your feelings of concern and worry about the grandchild are reality and are the facts and these feelings are all that matter? Or maybe he or she doesn’t get the fact that the way you see the situation is the appropriate perspective and really the only one??
Welcome to the energies of love! Understanding the sensory type of both you and those close to you aids in communication, understanding, acceptance and loving dialogue! Donna Eden and David Feinstein, after 3 years, just finished the book Energies of Love. In this book they explore and explain that there are 4 very very different sensory types that each person uses to react and engage their world. Each of us goes to one of the 4 as our default mode when under stress. Briefly, the 4 types are as follows:
Tonal, based on hearing. This person, when stressed, will fill in the blanks to what he/she thinks is being said based on the way it is being heard; even though you may not be saying anything near what is he/she is ”interpreting” or “hearing”. They get exasperated at “not being heard” and get angry at being made to feel wrong.
Digital, based on logic. This person, under stress, believes that all issues, emotional or otherwise are solvable by methodically explaining or analyzing the situation. If he/she can get the other to see the logic, than all will be just fine. They are not emotional people, believing they are always right and can’t be reached with feelings.
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Visual, based on seeing. This person, under stress, calmly explains that the way they see the world is the only way and if you don’t agree, well than you are just plain wrong. Unable to see their role in dispute; tending to blame the other, dismissive of partner and very nit-picky, they also must have you look them in the eye when talking.
Thus, by learning the sensory types, you will be able to communicate much more effectively with those close to you. These are the energies of love. The book has many exercises and examples of how to address our close interactions. More next week…..